Trader Joe’s Flatbread—Slightly Modified

Aug 272021

Trader Joe’s Flatbread—Slightly Modified

If I didn’t live conveniently close to a Trader Joe’s, I would probably have to move. It is nearly the only grocery/wine store I patronize.

It was the late 1960s.

The sand was barely out from between his toes when Joe Coulombe, fresh from a trip to the Caribbean, decided to rename his Southern California Pronto stores. Coulombe felt it unwise to continue to directly compete with the aggressive 7-Eleven juggernaut running roughshod across the convenience store landscape.

A new name, combined with a new theme, would give the Pronto stores a reset. But what to name them?

Polynesian Tiki culture—the rage of the day—recollections of the tranquilizing beaches of the Caribbean, and the fact that Trader Vic’s, an upscale Beverly Hills restaurant was packing them in, combined to give him the answer: Trader Joe’s.

Coulombe’s decision was partially designed to take a poke at the popular restaurant. Trader Vic’s was upscale and expensive. Trader Joe’s, would be upscale and affordable.

I guess it worked.

At the beginning of 2021 there were 530 Trader Joe’s across the nation. My advice to you: If you don’t live near one move.

Only about three or four nights a week, I eat what I call a Trader Joe’s pizza for dinner. Here’s the recipe:

————

You’ll need:

One of the three boxed frozen flatbreads available at Trader Joe’s. (See image above.)

½ cup of fresh broccoli florets or

8 asparagus spears

10 cherry tomatoes cut in half (optional)

1 can of anchovies, drained (optional)

Do this:

Preheat your oven to 450 degrees. I use a toaster oven but a full-size one works, too.

Open the box and take the still frozen flatbread from the cellophane wrapper. (This is an important step, please don’t forget it.)

Distribute your vegetable of choice, and, if you are including them, the tomatoes, and anchovies, on the flatbread.

Place the flatbread directly on the oven rack.

Bake for 16-20 minutes.

Cut the flatbread into triangle-shaped pieces and enjoy.

Serves: 1 Calories: 600-800 Satisfaction: 99

Historic Uses for Alcohol

Ramblings No Responses »

Jul 272021

— Historic Uses of Alcohol —

Quaff — verb: to drink a beverage, especially an intoxicating one, copiously and with hearty enjoyment.

|Like everything else they do, Sexy Beasts quaff with gusto.

Oᴠᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ʏᴇᴀʀs, alcoholic drinks have played divers roles:

Many cultures drank alcoholic beverages to avoid water-borne diseases such as cholera.
Russians have long drunk vodka in the belief that it keeps them warm.
Ancient Egyptians building the pyramids were paid in beer. (See: Beer Built the Pyramids.)
Italians say a glass of wine improves the appetite.
Parisians drink wine and smoke cigarettes in outdoor cafes to appear sophisticated.
Biblical references suggest wine was one of the principal beverages of the Israelites.
In suburban America, teenage boys throw kegger parties to lower teenage girls’ inhibitions.
In Japan, sake is used in Shinto purification rituals.
Around the world, Champagne is thought of as the celebratory beverage of choice.

I’m not about to tell you not to drink alcohol, because I know, as a Sexy Beast, you’re likely to.
As am I.
Just be aware of the calories you’re consuming and drink safely.

Plan on employing one or more of these strategies to moderate your consumption when you do drink:

Don’t regularly exceed to two drinks a day. No binge drinking. Harvard Medical School studies have shown two drinks a day for men (it’s one a day for women) may even be beneficial to your health.
At parties, intersperse glasses of water: one drink, one glass of water, one drink, one glass of water….
Designate a driver or use Uber when you’re out and about. (Sexy Beasts do not drink and drive.)
Consult the list below and consider choosing the lower-calorie options.

Distilled Spirits (gin, rum, vodka, whiskey)

Short pour                                    1 ounce        64 calories
Regular pour                                  1.5 ounce      97 calories
Make-it-an-early-night pour           8 ounces       512 calories

Don’t forget to account for the calories in any mixers you use. You can find nearly any mixer in a no-calorie variety.

Wine

Dry wine (red, white, or rose) 6 ounces       150 calories
Port, Sherry 3 ounces       90 calories
Sweet wine (Mad Dog, etc.) 6 ounces       270 calories

Brews

Regular beer                                  12 ounces     150 to 200 calories
Light beer                                      12 ounces     85 to 145 calories
Stouts and ales 12 ounces     200 to 450 calories
Nonalcoholic beer 12 ounces     65 calories

Hard Cider 12 ounces 150-200 calories
Hard Seltzers 12 ounces 90-120 calories

Pasta Carbonara

Entree, Recipes 2 Responses »

May 242021

— Pasta Carbonara —

*For a printable PDF of this recipe,* click here.

Pasta carbonara is said to have its origin right after World War II when many Italians, experiencing a scarcity of food, were eating eggs and bacon supplied by troops from the United States.
This recipe is modified a bit from the classic, but it retains the classic flavors. I sometimes substitute crumbled feta cheese for the Parmesan, just to be crazy.

You’ll need:
8 oz. dry spaghetti (about a half-inch diameter bundle)—whole wheat is best

16 slices turkey bacon

12-second spray of Pam or another vegetable spray.

4 tsp minced garlic (or 4 tsp powdered garlic)

4 large eggs, beaten

Ground black pepper to taste.

Salt to taste

1 oz. grated hard cheese such as Parmesan

3 tsp fresh parsley leaves, chopped (optional)

Do this:
In a large saucepan, boil enough water to cover the spaghetti. Add the pasta and bring the water back to boil. Turn down the heat and simmer until the spaghetti is tender but not mushy. This semi-firm state is called “al dente.” Use this information to impress your guests.

While the spaghetti is cooking, cut the turkey bacon into 1-inch pieces. Use Pam or another vegetable spray to lightly coat a frying pan. Sauté the bacon and minced garlic over medium heat until the bacon is crisp. If you are using garlic powder wait to add it when you add the pasta to the pan.

Drain the spaghetti. Add the spaghetti to the frying pan with the bacon and garlic. Sauté for two to three minutes turning the spaghetti to coat it evenly with the oil-bacon-garlic mixture. Remove the pan from the heat and add the beaten egg whisking quickly until the egg thickens. The idea is to not allow the egg to scramble, but don’t berate yourself if it does. It’ll still taste good.

Mound each serving on a plate and sprinkle with the cheese and then the parsley.

Servings: 4 Calories: 460 Satisfaction: 93

Consider pairing your pasta carbonara with a large green salad festooned with cherry tomatoes and sliced black olives. Serve with a crisp, dry Sauvignon Blanc or a Valpolicella should you be in the mood for vino.

Basque Shepherd’s Pie

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May 182021

— Basque Shepherd’s Pie —

Page 796 of Mrs. Beeton’s Book of Household Management (1907) places recipe number 1427, Shepard’s Pie, below recipe 1426, Sheep’s Tongues, and above recipe 1428, Toad-in-the-Hole.
Recipe 1426 calls for a tin (!) of, you guessed it, sheep tongues. I’ll leave you wondering what recipe 1428 calls for.
——-
Apparently, there is no verifiable record of where shepherd’s pie originated. Someplace in the United Kingdom seems most likely.
While there are no claims to be found that it originated in the area known as Basque Country—the area where Spain kisses France—there is a tendency to connect the dish with the Basques.
And why not?
Chinese chicken salad was invented in Santa Monica.
Swiss steak has nothing to do with the land of anonymous bank accounts.
The celebrated Cuban sandwich was created by cigar makers in Key West, Florida.
In fact, if you want to get technical, this recipe should properly be titled “cottage pie” since it is made with beef and not lamb.
And why didn’t I suggest you use lamb? First, it’s not all that easy to find ground lamb and lamb has nearly twice the calories as 94% fat-free beef.

You’ll Need:
1 ½ lbs. russet potatoes
1 lb. 94% fat-free ground beef
1 cup chopped onion (red or yellow)
1 cup frozen corn
1 cup frozen green peas
2 tbsp Worcestershire sauce
1 cup low fat mozzarella, grated
1 cup beef bullion
1 cup sliced mushrooms (optional)
½ cup celery, chopped (optional)
1 tbsp Worcestershire sauce
Pam or another spray oil
1 ½ tbsp Garlic powder (or two large cloves chopped)
1 tsp salt
2 tsp black pepper
2 tbsp dried parsley
Other spices as you like.

Do This:

Shepherd’s pie may be finished off under the broiler or in a microwave. If you plan on using a boiler, where the cheese and the peaks in the mashed potatoes will brown pleasingly, preheat it.
Wash the potatoes and cut them into thumb-size pieces. Leave the skin on. Place them into a pot and cover with water. Bring to a boil then simmer for about 20 minutes.
While the potatoes are cooking, spray a frying pan with 3 seconds of the oil spray.
Add the ground beef, onions, garlic, salt, and other spices, Place pan over medium heat and stir with a fork now and again until the meat breaks up and it browns nicely.
Add the mushrooms, peas, corn, and celery. Pour in the beef bouillon. Stir once and then simmer for 4-5 minutes.
Strain the potatoes using a colander, put them back in the pan, and mash with a fork.
Place the meat and vegetables mixture into the bottom of a casserole dish. Spoon the mashed potatoes over the top. Sprinkle with the cheese.
Place the dish under the broiler for a few minutes—keep an eye on it—or heat in a microwave on medium for 4-5 minutes.
Serve. Freeze or refrigerate leftovers for another night.

Servings: 6 Calories: 300 Satisfaction: 97

Want to print a copy of this recipe? Click here for a PDF.

Zounds! Twice as Likely to Die?

Dieting Sucks, Ramblings No Responses »

May 182021

Zounds! Twice as Likely to Die?

Guys, surprised to find you added a few pounds lately?
Here’s a newsflash for you, you aren’t alone.
But it is important to do something about it before it gets completely out of hand.
Men who are significantly overweight are twice as likely to die prematurely. Let me repeat that: twice as likely to die prematurely!
Like 100 percent more often.
Got it?
If that isn’t deep enough into the weeds for you, here are a few pertinent facts—excerpted from my book The Sexy Beast Diet: The Man’s Guide to Healthy, Satisfying Eating.

Your Heart

It was thought that being overweight contributed only indirectly to heart disease. But recent analysis of long-term studies indicate that obesity independently predicts increased degrees of atrial fibrillation, congestive heart failure, and coronary death in adults.
Small weight reductions in those who are overweight have been shown to dramatically improve one’s odds. Think what large reductions in weight might do.

Your Blood Supply

Being overweight is connected to a Sexy Beast’s chances of suffering a stroke. Strokes are caused when blood supply to a part of the brain is diminished.
Hardening of the arteries, often intensified in overweight men, can cause a stroke if blood vessels to the brain are affected.
And, while it isn’t completely understood, abdominal obesity, often defined in men as having a waist measurement of more than 40 inches, is known to be a potent risk factor in strokes.
Strokes are medical emergencies. It is best to avoid them.

Your Prostate

Overweight men have a 25% increased risk of death from prostate cancer. Mildly obese men have a 46% higher risk.
Severely obese men double their risk.
Traditional treatments for this type of cancer too often result in incontinence and impotence. While remedies for prostate cancer do continue to improve, trust me on this one, no Sexy Beast wants prostate troubles.

Your Brain

Consider this: The brain in overweight people shrinks quicker than in others resulting in lower cognitive abilities and poorer memory as one ages.
Seriously, who wants to be old, fat, and stupid?

You can find simple, successful, masculine strategies for obtaining and maintaining a healthy weight in The Sexy Beast Diet. If you would like a free copy for yourself or a friend, please email Mettee@TheWriteThought.com.*
*Limited-time offer.

Zuke Soup

Recipes, Sides No Responses »

May 042021

— Zuke Soup —

*Tap here to download a PDF of this recipe.*

Somewhere around 9,000 years ago, hunter-gatherer Sexy Beasts living in the area we now call Mesoamerica, began the transition to sedentary villages by cultivating foods. These foods included a prolific squash that is the predecessor to the vegetable we call “zucchini.”

In the 1800s clever farmers near Milan, Italy, bred the original squash into the green, cylinder-shaped one we know today. The Italians dubbed it “zucchini” or “little pumpkin.”

It is thought Italian immigrants brought it the U.S. in the 1920s.

According to the University of California at Davis’ agriculture department, if you were to farm zucchini, you could expect to make nearly $4,000 an acre each year.

I think I could have sold my backyard production of zucchini for at least that the one year I grew it. All my neighbors began to hide from me when I showed up on their doorsteps with another boxload.

Zuke Soup can be served chilled for a refreshing summer treat or served warm.

You’ll need:

2 medium zucchini, skins and all.

4 tbsp lemon juice (or the juice of 2 lemons)

½ tsp salt

1 tsp onion powder (or half a medium onion diced)

2 tsp cumin

1 tsp ginger (optional)

10 oz water

1 tbsp ground black pepper (plus enough for garnish)

Do this:

Blend all ingredients until smooth.

Either chill in the refrigerator or heat on low in a microwave for a few minutes before serving. If you don’t want to wait for it to chill before serving, make it with ice water.

Garnish with a slice of lemon if chilled or with a light touch of ground black pepper if served warm.

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Serves: 2 Calories: 35 Satisfaction factor: 60

Shrimp Linguini

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Apr 132021

— Shrimp Linguini —

THIS RECIPE IS BASICALLY SHRIMP SCAMPI WITH PASTA.

“Scampi,” by the way, is the plural of “scampo” an Italian word for a type of shrimp, so, as many a dining-table wit will tell you, “shrimp scampi” is redundant.

This is easy to prepare and open to tweaking. Consider increasing the garlic and/or lemon juice. Leave out the bell pepper, Add a few handfuls of fresh spinach, a large tomato diced, or even a can of anchovies drained and chopped.

You might replace the parmesan cheese with a couple of tablespoons of bacon bits. Coat the shrimp with Old Bay seasoning before adding it to the skillet. Use your imagination.

Be sure to taste-test the wine a few times while preparing this dish. I suggest a New Zealand sauvignon blanc.

You’ll need:

1 lb. linguini

4 tbs butter

4 tbs extra-virgin olive oil, plus more for drizzling

¼ red onion, diced

¼ red, yellow, or orange bell pepper slivered

2 cloves garlic, minced

1 lb medium raw shrimp, peeled and deveined

1½ tsp salt

4 oz dry white wine

4 tsp of lemon juice

2 tbsp grated parmesan cheese

¼ cup chopped parsley leaves (optional)

A pinch or two of red pepper flakes (optional)

Black pepper to taste

Do this:

Bring 4 quarts of water to boil in a large pot.

While waiting for the water to boil, place the butter and olive oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Add the onion, garlic, bell pepper, and red pepper flakes. Sauté until the onion is translucent. Keep warm.

Add the salt and the linguini to the boiling water. Stir immediately to stop the pasta from clumping.

Bring the water back to boil then lower the heat and simmer for 4-6 minutes or until done—the only way to tell is to sample a little.

When the pasta is done, pour it into a colander to drain.

Add the shrimp to the skillet. Stir fry until the shrimp is pink, about 2 to 3 minutes.

Add the wine, lemon juice, capers, remaining butter, olive oil and drained linguini to the pan and gently toss to coat the pasta. Drizzle more olive oil over the mixture if needed.

Dish onto individual plates, sprinkle with the parmesan cheese, parsley, and ground black pepper and serve.

This makes six servings. If there aren’t six of you, refrigerate the remainder to be warmed up another day.

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Servings 6 525 calories each Satisfaction factor: 99

Tap here to download a PDF of this recipe.

Doc Holliday’s Cowboy Caviar

Dips & Dressings, Entree, Recipes, Sides No Responses »

Jun 242020

Doc Holliday’s Cowboy Caviar

Tap here to download a PDF of the recipe.

When Southern gentleman John Henry “Doc” Holliday wasn’t shooting it out with bad guys, quaffing Arizona rotgut, or carousing with wild women, he was stirring up a mess of cowboy caviar.

BTW, I have it on good authority this is his original recipe. (You can trust me on that…I’m your huckleberry.)

You’ll need:
1 tsp. cumin
2 tsp. chipotle or another chili powder
1 tsp. salt
2 tsp. ground black pepper
4 tbsp. your choice of vinegar (white wine, red wine, or apple)
¼ cup lime juice (optional, but adds verve)
½ cup olive oil
1 jalapeno pepper, finely diced (use two if you’re feeling daring.)
2 medium-size ripe tomatoes, chopped
1 yellow or red bell pepper, chopped
1 large red onion, diced
1 15-oz. can blackeye peas
1 15-oz. can black beans
16 oz. frozen corn

Do this:
Whip the spices, olive oil, vinegar, and lime juice together in a small bowl.
Place everything else in a large bowl. Pour the spice-oil-vinegar-lime juice mixture over the top and gently toss to coat. Chill or serve immediately.
This will keep in the refrigerator for at least a week.
Holliday’s caviar works as an entrée, side dish, snack, or salsa.

Servings:
As salsa: 40. 88 calories each
As a snack: 22. 100 calories each
As a side dish: 8. 250 calories each
As an entrée: 6. 325 calories each
Satisfaction factor: 88

Grilled Halibut, Greek Style

Entree, Recipes No Responses »

Jul 282019

Grilled Halibut, Greek Style

Why did the vegan go deep-sea fishing?
Just for the halibut.

There are legions of Greek-style halibut recipes, each claiming to be the authentic one. This is one of the simplest and best. Garnish your plates with a few kalamata olives and grilled tomato halves if you like.

You’ll need:

4 halibut fillets (approximately 6 ounces each)

Marinade
1/4 cup olive oil
3 garlic cloves, minced, or ½ teaspoon garlic powder
2 tablespoons lemon juice
2 tablespoons fresh parsley, finely chopped, or ¾ teaspoon of dried parsley
2 teaspoons fresh oregano finely chopped or ¾ teaspoon of dried oregano (If you can find fresh “Greek” oregano all the better.)
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon black pepper

Do this:

Combine olive oil, garlic, lemon juice, parsley, oregano, salt and pepper in a large zip-top bag. Massage the bag to mix the marinade.

Add the fillets one at a time and carefully coat each piece with the marinade.

Place all the fillets back in the bag and place the bag in the refrigerator for an hour. (Okay to leave it in longer.)

Preheat your grill and oil it. (Oil a grill by bunching up a paper towel dipping it in the oil and, using long tongs or an oven mitt, carefully wipe the paper down the grate. Olive oil or canola oil work well for this.)

Place the fillets on the hot, oiled grill. Grill for 4 to 5 minutes without moving the fish then carefully flip the fillets and grill another 4 to 5 minutes. The fish is done when it flakes easily with a fork and is opaque all the way through.

Move the fillets onto a pre-warmed dish and, if not serving them immediately, place them in an oven warmed to about 200 degrees.

Serves: 4 Calories: 190 Satisfaction factor: 88

Recipe courtesy Neil Fernbaugh
Photo by Malidate Van from Pexels

Dieting Advice Parallels Writing Advice: “Get Another Wife, Live-in Lover, Roommate.”

Ramblings No Responses »

Jan 072018

Dieting Advice Parallels Writing Advice:“Get Another Wife, Live-in Lover, Roommate.”

Hmmm, maybe I do need a new husband.

In my friend Jim Frey’s excellent guide How to Write a Damn Good Novel, II, (start reading it here) he tells of a woman at one of his workshops who complained she didn’t have time to write:

I suggested she quit her job.

She smiled sheepishly and said she couldn’t do that. They had a big mortgage and her husband liked to travel, so they were making payments on a Winnebago. Her husband would kill her, she said, if she quit her job.

I said she should get another husband.

She blinked with astonishment. She said I was kidding, of course.

I was not kidding, I said. There are a lot of husbands out there—find one who will support your writing.

She walked away, muttering that I was a lunatic.

I may be, but that doesn’t change the facts. You can’t become a writer if you surround yourself with no-sayers. And if your spouse or live-in lover or roommate is not supporting you, you will have to change either their minds or your living arrangements.

Your ship won’t make much headway dragging an anchor.

How does Jim’s advice apply to dieting? If you need to ask….

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